The History of the Hoi Polloi
Dear readers of this website:
Hi! Hoi Polloi here. Rather than write our
own history, we enlisted the famous Internet Blogger Phil A. O'Fish to write
one for us.
Take it away, Phil!!
The History of Hoi Polloi
by Famous
Internet Blogger Phil A. O'Fish
Although there are no written records, we're assuming that each member of Jersey's Own Hoi Polloi was, in fact, born. Probably only once per member.
Throughout their childhood, each musician slowly got taller and eventually learned to play some kind of musical instrument. Later on, they entered puberty, had average to serious problems with acne, and started to develop intimate relationships (but probably not with each other -- probably -- but it is highly likely that absolutely no one else was involved.
When the band first formed, no one liked each other. The drummer was given to fits of somnia (the opposite of insomnia), Jim and Reebs were more involved with their girlfriends than the music, and Guy always got lost on the way to practice. It was time to make changes and to set the band on a new course. That happened when the drummer woke up.
I asked the bass player, Guy, how the band felt when the drummer was finally awake. "Well," he said, "by that time we were pretty used to his snoring, and used it to keep tempo. In fact, his drumming is only mildly more rhythmic."
The drummer remembers the story a little differently. "I was really tired, and then really hungry. I remember driving to Dunkin' Donuts. I ordered a bagel. This was the turning point in the band's history."
I asked Reebs how he remembered the situation. He didn't. He then went on a ten-minute tirade blaming the other band members for stealing his "wubbie".
As the band learned how to play together and became friends, they became more band-like and friend-like.
Is anyone still reading this?? Listen, I'm an internet journalist -- all right, a "blogger" -- but I hate that word. I have opinions on everything, but I don't get paid a lot, so I have to take pretty much any paying job I can get. Hoi Polloi paid me ten bucks to put something together and this is what I came up with. Frankly, this article bored me by the second paragraph, and those Hoi Polloi guys can barely read, so I can probably deliver just anything to them, and they'll put it up on the site. And I get my ten bucks -- which will keep me in pizza! I'll just put a little paragraph here at the end, so they don't notice.
In the end, Hoi Polloi continues to thrill audiences worldwide with their music, sense of humor, and good-natured fun.
Hoi Polloi back again. Wow! Thanks, Phil! We sure liked the way you used those typewriter-looking letters. We'll tell you what we think of it after we gets that whole reading thing under our belt, but in the meantime, we'll just put it up there. By the way, Phil -- Can you take a roll or quarters for your payment?
Note: For the band's REAL history, click here.
